haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dick very happy bro
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