Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
