the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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