even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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