mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
