I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We got so high we made milksteak
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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