Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize