I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
