I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
