bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
