i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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