Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
