I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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