My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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