Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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