I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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