Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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