This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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