Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
