i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
