She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
