I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
