and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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