tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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