there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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