How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
