I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize