Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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