He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
