So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
