Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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