Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
