You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
