He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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