She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
