my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize