He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Randomize
