the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
