You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
