I'm jealous of your bromance
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
