we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
