South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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