I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
