Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
