So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
