Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
