Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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