She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
