Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
