I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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