I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
