he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
