She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
