Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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