If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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