oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
