I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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