There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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