Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
