lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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