just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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