GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it because I queefed?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
