Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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