And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize