Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
