She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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