I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
