so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
