CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
